There once was a man we called Mitch
He had an unfortunate itch
And worse it did fair
When he sat on a chair
So he got a cure from the witch.
The witch she lived in a town called Twatt
He went there to see her and her cat
She saw soon enough
With him in the buff
That the itch was due to a small gnat!
That gnat was a Mayfly from Devon
On holidays in her food heaven
His cheeks they did squeeze
While his nose did sneeze
She didn't bite one time but seven!
It all happened that day in the hay
When Mitch went out to Sue for a play
This farmer's daughter
Hell or high water
With him she sure wanted her way
Sue longed for him with a mad desire
She sure knew how to stoke up his fire
But that fateful day
Romping in the hay
Saw some consequences very dire!
When Mitch sat up to look in her eyes
As he gently caressed her slim thighs
That's when the sneeze hit
And that gnat first bit
So boldly interrupting Sue's sighs!
Until then it was so romantic
But Mitch then became very frantic
He felt his behind
'fraid what he might find
And then felt a hive so gigantic!
Sue straight away asked what was wrong
When Mitch bounced up and zoomed along
To the trough next door
And sat with a roar
In hopes that his pain would not prolong
Then Mitch stood up from the cold water
Tried walking to the farmer's daughter
He tried to be brave
Gave her a small wave
While she played with the ring he bought her.
Sue whispered as she caressed his arm
Asking Mitch what did do him such harm
But to show he was fine
He then twirled most divine
And she screaming ran off in alarm!
She screamed as she threw at him a can
Not to touch her then away she ran
She'd seen his big bite
Threw the ring in fright
And quickly imposed on him a ban!
How to fix it Mitch had not a clue
He really did not know what to do
Mitch ran to his mum
With his itchy bum
And she stared at him, glasses askew.
His mum was the wise witch there in Twatt
She gave him a salve made of brown bat
She added a hex
Abstained him from sex
His hive healed but Sue left and that's that!
